Jul 22, 2012, 12:47 PM
Post #4 of 10
Sometimes it is defensiveness too - even though we might not *say* anything, actions can speak louder than words, and this might be true in this case. So she might be feeling defensive because if you were moved to go vegan she might feel deep down that she "should" also, and if you *succeed* at it, it will quite possibly invalidate something (excuses, etc) that she has thought/assumed (even if she never said) and so her response to hearing that you are trying is to voice why she thinks (hopes) you could fail.
Re: [Nosaby] Critical friend
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I have people do this regarding my bike commuting too. People find out I bike commute, and will comment "oh, you're so lucky that you live so close to work! I live 10 miles away, I could never bike commute." And then they get angry with me when I explain that I live 14 miles from work.
It just says more about them and their thought processes and the excuses they have already decided on for not doing something that they must, deep down, feel would be a good thing when they react that way.
Still is annoying when it is a stranger, and hurtful when it is a friend.
If she doesn't let up, just tell her something along the lines of how you appreciate her concern, but that her approach is hurtful.